so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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