dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
