she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
