i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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