Im at strip club and am horny
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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