I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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