She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
