so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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