why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
