you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
