So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
