A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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