i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
