she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
