Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
