Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
