Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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