The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
