the condom got lost in my hair
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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