I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize