They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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