Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
