He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
