Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
