I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
