Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
