No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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