i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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