I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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