Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
