Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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