Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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