so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
