Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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