He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
