So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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