Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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