allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
