i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
