I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize