Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
