woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
