We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
