There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
