I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
