your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
