I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
