im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I enjoy the company of your penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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