did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What a dumb baby whore.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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