moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
