I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
