There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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