Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
