I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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