Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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