Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
honey bunches of taint.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
