Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
BRING THE BAGELS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
