You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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