I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
