Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
