so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
